Finding "the one"

No, I am not married nor have I found "the one" yet. But I have learned some things about dating and marriage to honestly say that there is not "the one" out there. I hope this isn't shocking news, but for me as a young hopeless romantic in high school, I completely believed in soulmates and couldn't wait to find mine and ride off into a perfect sunset together on a white horse. Well my opinions have changed slightly since then. I now put much more importance on dating someone and truly finding out who they are and if we together will be a good fit, than on finding "the one" that is meant for me. I believe love is a choice and once we have done our homework in the dating phase, we can be confident in knowing that we can have a happy and successful marriage if we choose to.

Dating is the time to really get to know someone. We go and do many different things and see each other in many different lights. We note what we do like about a person and the things we don't like as much.There are three important components of a date. It should be planned, paid for, and paired off. This helps us truly date someone and not just hang out with them. Dating then leads to courting. Courting is dating with marriage in mind. This does not mean that courting someone will definitely mean you will marry them, but it means you are dating elusively and looking at each other as a potential spouse. The next step is engagement. This is an important time to not only plan the wedding but to really ask each other lots of questions. This is a time to truly see if you can fit together. The final stage is marriage. However it is not just sunshine and roses after that. Marriage takes work and commitment. It is about being selfless and choosing to love someone through the ups and the downs.

There is no better example for me about a successful marriage than my own parents. They choose each other and act accordingly. They know how to work as a team and realize each other's strengths and weaknesses and use them together to empower their marriage. I am so grateful for their example of love and devotion to each other and one day I hope to have the very same thing of my own.